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Free UK delivery on every order. Packed within 1 business day; typically delivered in 2–4 business days (3–6 for Highlands, islands and NI). Every parcel is tracked.
We can ship to virtually any address in the world. Note that there are restrictions on some products, and some products cannot be shipped to international destinations.
When you place an order, we will estimate shipping and delivery dates for you based on the availability of your items and the shipping options you choose. Depending on the shipping provider you choose, shipping date estimates may appear on the shipping quotes page.
Please also note that the shipping rates for many items we sell are weight-based. The weight of any such item can be found on its detail page. To reflect the policies of the shipping companies we use, all weights will be rounded up to the next full pound.
Free 30-day returns. Email us for a prepaid label — refunds land within 3–5 business days of the return arriving. Your statutory rights always apply on top.
You may return most new, unopened items within 30 days of delivery for a full refund. We'll also pay the return shipping costs if the return is a result of our error (you received an incorrect or defective item, etc.).
You should expect to receive your refund within four weeks of giving your package to the return shipper, however, in many cases you will receive a refund more quickly. This time period includes the transit time for us to receive your return from the shipper (5 to 10 business days), the time it takes us to process your return once we receive it (3 to 5 business days), and the time it takes your bank to process our refund request (5 to 10 business days).
If you need to return an item, simply login to your account, view the order using the "Complete Orders" link under the My Account menu and click the Return Item(s) button. We'll notify you via e-mail of your refund once we've received and processed the returned item.
Real people, real answers — email gardenluxe.co.uk@gmail.com with your order number or product question and we will reply within one business day.
The FAGGMY "Ho Why is You Here" coir doormat is a durable, 100% natural coconut-fiber welcome mat with a non-slip PVC backing designed to scrape dirt and absorb moisture at your doorstep.
This compact 23.6 x 15.7-inch porch mat blends rugged coir fiber performance with a playful printed message to give your entry a warm, slip-resistant first impression. Made from thick coconut husk strands, the mat removes grit from shoes while its PVC underside helps it stay flat and in place. It’s light enough to move for cleaning but robust enough to withstand everyday foot traffic on patios, porches, and entryways.
The coarse coir fibers are effective at scraping mud and debris off shoe soles before you enter, reducing tracked-in dirt. The fiber’s slight absorbency also helps catch surface moisture, so less liquid reaches indoor flooring.
The PVC rubber backing offers grip to resist sliding across hard surfaces and helps the mat remain flat to cut down trip hazards. Coir is naturally water-resistant and resilient, intended for covered outdoor areas like front porches or entry alcoves rather than constant direct exposure to heavy rain.
Maintenance is simple: shake, brush, or vacuum to remove loose dirt. For heavier grime rinse briefly with a hose, spot-clean with mild soap, then air-dry completely before placing it back to prevent mildew.
The compact footprint of about 23.6 by 15.7 inches suits narrow entryways, apartment doors, and small patios. It’s a practical choice for any doorway where space is limited but a sturdy scraper mat is needed.
Who this mat is for: The FAGGMY Funny Coir Doormat is ideal for renters, homeowners, and cottage or cabin owners who want a compact, functional mat with personality. Choose this if you need a no-fuss, natural-fiber scraper for sheltered outdoor spaces or small entryways and appreciate a humorous welcome that sets the tone before guests enter. If you require floor protection in exposed, constantly wet locations, consider a more weatherproof option instead.
Q: Is this doormat weatherproof?
A: Coir is water-resistant but best for covered outdoor areas; avoid leaving it in continuous heavy rain to extend lifespan.
Q: How do I clean the FAGGMY coir mat?
A: Shake or vacuum regularly; for deeper cleaning spot-wipe with mild soap or hose and air-dry completely before reuse.
Free UK delivery on every order — packed within 1 business day, arriving in 2–4 business days.
Free 30-day returns — email us for a prepaid label; refunds land within 3–5 business days of the return arriving.
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